“Good Guy” vs “Nice Guy” Blah Blah Blah

Please, do yourself a favor and forget the whole good guy versus nice guy debate. Both of those guys lose. Women don’t want either. Women want a man.

Point blank.

Yes, obviously being a good or nice guy still matters. Having morals matters. Don’t cheat. Don’t abuse. Be respectful. Be a decent human being. But unfortunately, those things alone are not enough. Even though they’re important, they are just not enough anymore. All they really mean is that you are safe. And being safe makes you a great option for a woman looking to settle. But believe me, you will never be fully happy with a woman who settles for you just because you are a nice or good guy and to be honest, you will never be fully safe either.

The world as we once knew it has changed. Women today can do everything on their own. They earn money, build careers, raise children, travel, and create deeply fulfilling lives without a man. There has been such a massive cultural shift that it’s now almost embarrassing for a woman to have a partner, just look at the Vogue article that recently went viral.

If a woman is going to accept having a partner, he’s going to have to be a man. A real man.

A real man always adds value to a woman’s life because of everything he entails.

He is secure, not insecure.

Confident, not cocky.

He is not afraid or intimidated to build up the woman he’s with.

He supports her in every way.

He does not compete with his partner.

He does not try to dim her light.

He is her biggest supporter.

He is generous, with his time, his energy, his presence, his love, and yes, his money. If you can’t afford to be a man, stay single. Stop wasting her time. She’s not a gold digger. She just wants a man who isn’t scared to invest in the woman he claims to want.

He doesn’t need external validation.

He does not give access to everyone.

He isn’t scared to tell you what his needs and desires are.

He has no hidden resentment.

He knows his worth, and he keeps adding to it by putting in the work mentally, physically, and emotionally.

But a friendly reminder: just because a man says he’s “doing the work,” it doesn’t mean he is. Therapy, coaching, podcasts, none of it matters if it isn’t applied in real life. Most men talk about growth, but the moment they’re triggered, they revert. They avoid conflict. They deflect. They shut down. They disappear. Avoiding triggers isn’t healing. Staying in the comfort zone isn’t growth. Paying for a service does not mean you’re doing the work.

Men need to realize that women are not desperate anymore. Yes, some women may want a child before it’s too late, but there are more options now than ever. Settling for a good or nice guy just to have a baby isn’t that appealing anymore. And for women who already have children, the so-called ticking clock is done. She’s free. She’s already settled once, usually for far too long, with the wrong person. Now she wants to live. She knows exactly what she wants and exactly what she will never accept again.

If a man isn’t making her life richer, lighter, and more exciting, she is genuinely better off on her own. Research shows that the happiest people tend to be married men and single women.

But still, even though I’ve laid out a lot of facts, the truth remains that even though women don’t need men anymore, they absolutely still want men, just not boys, even if those boys are nice or good boys.

It’s just not enough anymore.

So please, be a man already.

Choose you. Every time.

Nanette